A young cowboy walks into a bar and sees an older cowboy sitting at the end of the bar with a big bowl of chili in front of him, just staring at it. The younger cowboy sits and watches the older cowboy for about 20 minutes or so, just staring at his chili. Finally the young cowboy gets up and goes and sits next to the older cowboy and looks at his bowl of chili, finally he says, "sure looks good, if you ain't gonna eat it you mind if I do?" The old guy replys "have at er..." and slides the bowl in front of the younger man. He scarfs down the chili until he gets to the very last spoonfull and see's a rats head in the bottom of the bowl and pukes up all the chili back into the bowl. The older guy looks at him and says "Yep, that's as far as I made it to..."
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A young tinhorn walks into a saloon one hot july. thinking of a meal and a drink, he sets hiself right down next to an old leathered cowhand. they sat for a while in silence, the young man waiting for the bartender, and notices the cowhands plate sitting in front of him, on it 3 oysters.
"Boy, I didn know dey sold oeesters here!" The youngster says to the cowhand.
The older gentleman nods, still staring at the plate.
The young man looks from the plate to the cowhand and back again.
"Ent you gonna et dem oeesters?" he asked.
"Weeel, mayster, if you aint, hand dem over!"
The cow hand pushed the plate over and without hesitation, the tin horns slurped them down in three quick bits. With a sigh, he sat back and patted his belly.
"Them ther oeesters were mighty fine!"
The old cow hand stared in disbelief.
"Weel, I be damned!" he said the the tin horn "You sure have a belly like an iron kettle, son! I had them oasters down three times and couldnt keep em!"