J. Cart / Not a redneck joke

Submitted by Crusty on 8/10/06 at 7:36 PM. ( )

What patients say during Colonoscopies
Colonoscopies are no joke , but these comments during the exam were quite humorous... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay.."

And the best one of all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up here?"

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I can top those

This response submitted by Jerry C on 8/10/06 at 9:04 PM. ( )

I recently had one done by a former high school student, now a doctor. The first thing I asked him was, "Did I give you an 'A'?"

My first one

This response submitted by mike on 8/10/06 at 10:38 PM. ( taxidermy@mwt.net )

is scheduled for sept 8. I'll bet you don't think of those remarks until your in the scope so to speak or should I say the scope is in you. thanks Crusty :-)

How do my tonsels look from the backside.

This response submitted by The Undertaker on 8/11/06 at 1:02 PM. ( )

I also ask, "do you really love me?"

Or make a gagging sound and say "thats far enough."

Stop I want a picture, I really do have hair on my ar$e!

Hope you take a left turn at Albuquerque.

Its worse when they scope your throat!

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