I dont know what it is about spouses, man or woman, but i guess there is just a time to throw it in and say enough. I am sick of being manipulated, lied to, controlled, (husband has the money and makes me ask him for gas money and gives me only 10 dollars at a time) I am tired of him telling me to get a hoby (taxidermy) then not being able to do it cause he doesnt want to help me get started.
I have worked for him for 6 years doing framing on houses, trying to help him get his company running. Now I want to start one of my own and he wont give me dime one to help out. SO I am just tired of it. Then he lies about stuff he does, he makes me feel guilty when i want to "do stuff" saying he's tired, he has worked all day and has no energy...I know, i was there, WORKING MY BUTT OFF TOO...
So I try to make hobbies for myself, drawing writing and taxidermy. And he calls my hobbies stupid and because they are not making any money, they are not as important as his company, so he puts all the money into his company, even though I work 8-5, and dont get paid for it.
think I am being used?
i think so.
of course there is more than I am saying here, that is unappropriate to say, but everyone here seems to agree working for free is dumb. So call me dumb, but i have seen the light, so to speak, and I think it is time for new horizons.
pooh, on him, pooh on the house he is in the middle of building, with only one other experienced guy, pooh on his money hording and the mental abuse.
I think I am done.
sorry to vent, but I am SOOOOO angry and tired and frustrated and sad...
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dumping him does not mean that you failed to hold it together. You have rights, a life, and needs just like he does. If there are no kids involved, take off tomorrow and dont look back. Let the lawyer get your money for you. I bet he can get you more then $10 for gas.
If your marriage was worth something once it still should be. Maybe you just haven't gotten through to him yet? We males can be really dense and not realize how we are acting at the time. Give it a little more time and don't do something rash. If you have to, give him an ultimatum and see what happens, but don't call it quits just yet.
And life's too short to be married to someone you don't like. If you own opinion is permanent and the odd's don't match the even's, make a good BUSINESS decision and cut your losses. If you wake up tomorrow regretting this post, then all bets are off.
All marriages have ups and downs. He sounds rather controling, BUT if you do still love him, if you look at him and still see the man you fell in love with, sit that idiot down and tell him point blank what he needs to do to make things between you better, tell him exactly what you need in order to feel good about staying. Tell him how much you love him but the reason you arent happy with him anymore. Give him a chance to straighten up. Then if he still acts like a jerk, find out what your state laws are regarding divorce. Half of everything you both own as well as half the bills... Are yours.
Tell him it would be a lot cheaper to give you some money to make you happy and the freedom to do what you want, or you can have the freedom to do what you want without him LOL>..
But once again if you love him try to make him see what hes doing to your marriage. SOme men are downright stupid and blind as bats unless you hit them over the head...
...to be miserable day after day! Sit him down and tell him "how the cow eats cabage!" If he does not want to work things out and change... can his dumb butt!
You do need to take a looooong look in the mirror. Is it all him or not. I would have to say it is most likely not. Both of you may need to change things for this to work.
But like I say, life is way to short, so do what you have to do to be happy and is best for you and yours.
because I know the magic words! "Yes dear" I have had days when I almost hated my wife and she me but if love is in the air you just have to put up with the differences, compromise and hang in there. Except for physical abuse or cheating just keep your head low and then try and talk it out over a dinner in a public place where its impossible to start yelling. Of course us Italians yell anyway but at home things might get thrown and thats a bad thing and making up is a good thing. Prayer helps ALOT no matter what.
I know exactly how you feel, I am on my 13th spouse, but if worse comes to worse may I suggest a site for single taxidermist.
...but here's the order of where I'd start if I were you. Pick whever you're at now and go from there.
1. Have you tried witholding sex? That usually gets our attention really quickly.
2. Talk to him and be blunt. Sometimes we men miss those little problem signs you gals give us. But in all fairness to us guys, sometime's the signs are awfully subtle.
3. If he won't talk, seek professional help on your own (And I don't mean asking a bunch of taxidermists their opinion - lol!) If you're a church-going individual, your pastor can offer you some advice and it'll only cost you a couple of bucks on Sunday.
That's it. Everyone's situation is unique. And you need to air out your dirty laundry with a qualified person that can help you make the right decisions. If you decide to move on and happen to be 21-25, around 100-120 pounds and like old, bald fat guys that smell like fish, gimme a call! (Just kidding. Don't want to make light of the situation, but thought a little laugh might help your spirits. Come to think of it, some "spirits" might also help your mood! Good luck)...
If your around 40 years old I have just the guy for you and it's not me. It's a friend of mine.
are all sisters! sorry gina, but you sound like a typical woman! glad i dont have to go through that bs anymore. ive come to the conclusion thats its alot eaiser just to [expletive deleted] around, more fun too!
dont bite the hand that feeds you, sounds like his business is putting the beans on the table. so mabey his business is more important than your hobbies!
You GOT to be kidding? Since when is "putting beans on the table" worth more than your wifes happiness and your marriage? ID rather be poor and with the one I love, than rich and lonely...
Not to mention she did say works in their business too. Doesnt sound like hes the only one doing the work, yet he IS the only one getting the money...
This is so complex and the follow up posts to your venting covers the gammit. One person nailed it pretty good... do you STILL love him? Be honest to yourself. If you do, even not as much as you once did, then dont just give up in a moment of frustration. If this is worth saving then YOU must make every effort to try and save it. And only after you try, if he doesnt meet you half way, then you can leave with a clear conciense. Sit down and talk to him. Dont complain or demand... but talk, explain and be more honest and open than you ever been with him. Isnt it worth the effort. I mean its a MARRIAGE for crying out loud. My wife and I had been on a downslide for a while in our relationship recently. I can admit that it was more my fault than hers. But she hung in there to her credit. BUT to my credit, Im the one that sat down one day with her at lunch and opened up and told her how I felt. I said things I NEVER ever said to her before. And you kno what? She returned the favor and expressed things she never did before. its like we were discovering each other all over again. AND we both realize that we both were wanting the same things. A lover, a best friend, a confidante, a dedicated partner. These are qualities we once shared with each other but somehow along the way we lost track of it. Now we are both trying to go back there again. But we couldnt do it if even one of us didnt love the other. Thats why I ask, do you love him still? and while you're at it, as him the same thing. Good luck Gina. Marriage is sacred and deserves every chance both parties can muster. Gina, if you really need to talk to a male and a husband and still keep a degree of anonymity, just email me okay? I'll help any way I can. Mike.
Because, I figured out I was married to Satan's daughter! Like others have said, "life is to short)! If you can't find middle ground it's time for someone to go. It's not easy, but a person can't live being miserable all the time.
Good luck Gina, Eddie J.
He should'nt have treated you like this in the first place.
Stuff him and mount him, You still have him, his buisness, and no B.S.