Once Upon a Time, (Someone please write something now....)
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There lived 3 taxidermist. Bill, George, and Pat.
There was a man who waited MUCH too long for his turn to yell on the forums. At heart, he was a kindred spirit with love and hugs, but alas, he felt the inner tumult of something waiting to spew forth in the form of loud words. He THOUGHT he needed to wait for a "turn", so kind was he, yet he dare not. For he only shows up here and there on the forums in the form of a twisted Cupid, trying in vain to kill us with kindness. His name be-ith Ratrick of the Bird People.
The Bird People bequeathed this title upon Ratrick, when they assumed Ratrick was bereft of all ill will. Now one day........
Ratrick had finally had enough! With a fury posessed only by the TRULY repressed, he went TOCRB! (Totally Out of Control Really Bad). In a frenzy he lashed out at those closest to him -- THE BIRD PEOPLE! With a stick and a whistle, he went hunting (it was December and plumages were EXCELLENT) In no time at all he found.....
splat. WHIRRRRRRRRRR! [That's the sound of one Bird Person getting the hell-outta Dodge because she just saw Ratrick and has heard horror stories of those who speak softly and carry a big stick!]
One is gone..."flown the coop", so to speak. Due to weight restrictions and FAA regs. this one had to drop ballast before takeoff, so watch your step. Will any bird people be left to try and smooth Ratrick's feathers so that he can be perfectly aligned once again?
Oops....heard a whistle. [splat...
Poor Ratrick. to live among the bird people alone is more than most mortals can endure. But the bird people have saddled poor Ratrick with mounds of Giant pheasants. What to do? He shall call them peac____s and sell them on the net. If Ratrick doesn't complete his mission he will be sent to the kingdom of bears. There he will have to skin and flesh ten of the greasy critters a day for all of eternity. Sell, Sell, Sell poor Ratrick. Avoid the pains of bald spots and grease burns.
His whistle totin' self put on his baggy pants and RAPPED! His rap was that of a Mammologist. It was in fact GREAZZZY fur sur, but he SLAMMED it out! He swore that he would not be "goin' back to Cali" cuz there was no "power to the people." In a twist of fate as luck would have it, Nancy was NOT able to make it outta Dodge in time. She was subsequently forced by Ratrick's new found loudened voice to sing back-up as his Hommie. This made the Bird People and the Bears go over the top! TOTALLY TOCRB! He Became known as "PUBLIC ENEMY #1!" Realizing bald wasn't SOOOO bad, they........
Sweet Lord of Mercy......
For LARS to speak up, from what I hear he may know this elusive Ratrick chap?
Nothing I tell you Nothing!
I just leave for a few hours to go do some WORK for Heaven's sake, and...what the... I don't even know... Good Grief. What's a Hommie?
I guess I've been out of it for as long as I've been full of it. And now I'm confused too. One thing is certain though. This Bird Person won't sing!
Now Ratrick's abilities are legendary. What could he do with a stick and a whistle? He could, no doubt, lead a parade...Bird People, Bear People, Fish People [wearing wetsuits], and other Taxidermists of all kinds. He will lead them, like ducks in a row, to the Bonneville Power Administration where they will proceed to make a few sparks fly. As well as fur, feathers and scales. And PROVE that electric amplifiers aren't needed to shout out a message about
Sweet Lord of Mercy
I hold an empty picture frame up so I can sort of sit there and watch, as Pat bounces off the walls and races from one end of the shop to the other, with his usual vigore. Brace your self, Tom, when you come to visit! LOL! And Nancy M.....It's good to see that marriage has not dampened your wit! Welcome!
Thanks for the warning LARS Just got back last night. Drove for 15 hours straight and then nailed a deer just outside Belt, 20 miles form home.... geeezzz
Looking forward to coming out definately want to arrange it so I can meet this Ratrick folk... after reading all this and posts from the pasts this should be interesting. LOL
You going to the picnic in June?