For the Ladies

Submitted by Linda C on 10/22/01. ( )

I've had a lot of time to think lately (dangerous I know)while doing the nasty job of fleshing bear.It occured to me that for us women folk there are different advantages and disadvantages to being part of this business.These are I few I came up with,feel free to add your own.
Husband never gets upset about finding hides in the washing machine.
Also never bothers him to find horns in the microwave.
Male customers are less likely to argue with you.(they already know that they can't win unless they are only 10)
Easy to get help with the heavy stuff.(as long as their mothers trained them well)
Every guy that comes into the shop thinks your husband is the luckiest man alive.

You are often mistaken for office help.
You couldn't possibly understand what they are trying to describe.
People on the phone want to talk to the guy in charge.
Other women think you are nuts(not to far off actually)
Your fingernails will never look good for that special occasion.
You still get to cook and clean house regardless of how many deer you skinned that day.
always having plastic in the trunk just in case you find something good alongside the road.
Not always understanding customers jokes.

These are just a few that I've noticed,it would be fun to here yours.
Have a great day!

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It's true!

This response submitted by skeeter on 10/22/01. ( )

I think you got most of the stuff right. I have gotten the calls asking if my husband does turkeys. And I reply, no but I do. Pause.
You don't know the price do you. I laugh and say yep I know the price and it just went up. HA HA.
That kind of people I do not need. When they see my work they shut up real fast.
Guys like that need to do themselves a favor. Don't put anything pass this coon ass.I will prove you wrong.

more advantages and disadvantages

This response submitted by Nancy M. on 10/22/01. ( )

My husband is always borrowing my tools, and he doesn't put them back!
He covets certain feathers for fly-tying.

On the other hand, he will help collect driftwood if he can put in some fishing time.
It all works out.
Nancy M.

one problem

This response submitted by Nancy M. on 10/22/01. ( )

Hubbie borrows my tools, and won't put them back!

hmmm. a time warp.

This response submitted by Nancy M. on 10/22/01. ( )

This new set-up is going to take some getting used to.

Oh Yah?.......Well

This response submitted by Dave B. on 10/23/01. ( )

How many men does it take to open a beer can?...None.It should be opened by the time she brings it to ya!

Why is a laundrymat a realy bad place to meet a woman?...Because a woman that cant even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you!

Why do women have smaller feet that a man?....Its one of those Evolutionary things that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink!

How do you fix a woman's watch?...You dont. Theres a clock on the oven!

Why dont women fart?....Because women cant shut up long enough to build up the required pressure!

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first?....The dog of course.He'll shut up once you let him in!

Whats worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?....A woman that wont do what she's told!

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "Always!"

I have'nt spoken to my wife in 18 months. I dont like to interupt her!

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?...Devorced!

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a womans sex drive by 90%. Its called a wedding cake!

Marriage is a 3 ring Circus. Engagement ring,Wedding ring and Suffering!

Our last fight was my fault.My wife asked me "Whats on the T.V.? And I said "Mostely Dust!"

Then God created Man. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God or Man has rested!

Why do men die before their wives?....Because they want to!

A begger walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Dr. and said "I have'nt eaten anything in 4 days." She looked at him and said "God, I wish I had your will power."

There.....take that! Gotta go. I cant find the channel changer,


This response submitted by Dave Toms on 10/23/01. ( )

man are you going to get it dude... lol

Dave T

I have this stabbing pain in my back!

This response submitted by Dave B. on 10/23/01. ( )

Thank God my boss at V.D's isn't a woman!
And to let you all know....I'm the boss in my house! I even have my wife's permission to say so!

Good one dave. lol...

This response submitted by Brandon on 10/23/01. ( )

Your really gonna get it now. even though your
i probably shouldn't leave my addy either now, but i will. ladies, please take it easy on me.

go back to

This response submitted by michael s on 10/23/01. ( )

correction "for the ladies" and we can all start there

go girls go go go go


This response submitted by Dave on 10/23/01. ( )

In my conversation earlier with Michael, she was telling me that she has suddenly developed a fear of trains.Everytime he even gets near one,she gets ill.She told me that she feels she's contacted the disease "Am Tracks".

Now that says alot about the "Woman!"


Shame on the guys.....

This response submitted by CUR on 10/23/01. ( )

I am one of the original female liberators. Over the years I have set a whole bunch of women free......Women! Ya can't live with them and ya can't live with them.

Years ago, I broke off an engagement with a beautiful young singer....She was mad about it and told me that I was going to wind up old and all alone.....She was right. Ain't life wonderful? Listen to the silence! I have an opinion of one. Things stay where I put them, and I never feel guilty about anything I do. Me an my lab love it like that. Here's to all you married guys with half an opinion who live in those time-share devices called marriages.....ROFLMAO.

WAY to much fun with my time

This response submitted by Jeff Lumsden on 10/23/01. ( )

Don't claim to know anything about the time you share with your Lab, but the nights I spend with my wife aint worth sharing with another!
Having WAY to much fun at night for 21 yrs. My last lab died at age 13,sorry.

Bill G.....

This response submitted by Leanna on 10/23/01. ( )

You're kissing that labs ass whether you realize it or not!?

Now, Linda, this is too cool. I've been away for a few days, and this was the post I chose first. Curiosity killed the feline, but I ain't dead yet.

The best thing about being a woman taxidermist is you are usually working on supper from the first part of the morning and don't have to decide what to make. Whatever it is that I'm fleshing out, hey, no one will ever know adding the right touch of basil, bay leaf or rosemary. Little ripe? Terriaki kills just about anything.

You're right, guys DO think my husband is lucky to be married to me and know what? Jeff IS lucky I'm his wife and not only because I do taxidermy. Because I can change a tire and cook a damn good stroganoff (Yoxer, that was for you! LOL) as well!

Fingernails? Please don't make me choke on what I may be chewing on at the moment. And thankyou Walmart for Lee press on nails when the occasion calls for it. On the other hand, my toenails are flawless, beautiful cranberry cream, never did learn to work with my feet. Too, at the end of an evening, when I put my tired feet up on a pillow, I THINK I look rather elegant...LOL Just how many taxidermists wear toe rings?

Linda, you had me rolling on the washing machine and microwave! THEY ARE MINE! And don't forget the occasional boiling on the stove of boney objects once in awhile! Anyone else stink up the house with other nasty odors, they hear about it. The refrigerator is an implement for thawing out a particular critter once in a while also...don't mess with mom or no cookies.

Husband gets tickled pink or jealous as hell with all the phenomenal deer racks coming in....

Husband GETS too reef on a deer hide for me IF I happen to order mannikin too large and can't sew hide together for the life of me no matter HOW much cussing is sung in praise of the beast...

Husband gets to learn the art of taxidermy from his wife, with certain perks, as long as he pulls a ribbon at the next show that doesn't color higher than wifes...

My mom proud as hell of her daughter the taxidermist, won't hug me unless I am properly disinfected...

My youngest daughter PREFERS not to eat meat after watching me in the shop unless it's hotdogs or pepperoni...still havn't figured that one out yet. AND if she becomes a vegetarian, we will all feel shamed,or rather failures, being hunters all of us...

My husbands buddies actually think HE gets his deer head done up for free......ROFLMAO

Guys get shocked as hell when I outbid them for a tool at an auction...

I could go on forever, but I'll end in saying, us women taxidermists put up with the MOST pun filled "mounting" jokes that could be dredged up from the dirtiest mind, but we can usually come up with a response that will cause a blush to the hayseeds cheeks!

Ain't life grand?!

Linda, thanks for the reminiscing, LOL

Well, Jeff

This response submitted by CUR on 10/23/01. ( )

I've had almost as many labs as I've had wives. I guess when this one dies, I'll have to get another. I have fun at night too. Being a batchelor, I just wake up to different hair colors and names.


This response submitted by Bill Yox on 10/23/01. ( )

Im a taxidermist that wears a toe ring...and its chained to my studio floor! Boy would I just LOVE to elaborate on that stroke, errr, joke you told...Guys, trust me, Jeff IS lucky. The reason why he doesnt get his deer mounted free? Leanna killed the bigger buck, THATS the one for the wall, hahaha! Sorry Jeff. Leanna's nail color of choice is......mallard orange, of course. (Gotcha Lea)


This response submitted by Dave on 10/23/01. ( )

For YEARS, women have been bidding for a "man's" tool. Only because they need it and knws that it'll always work when needed!Keep the top bid. It'll make you a happy woman and will ensure your husband that you'll always come home!
And when it comes to you women....why do you always order things "Too Large?"
As far as're the only one's that I know of that can burn water.So dont trry to convince us that you all know how to cook. Otherwise, there woould'nt be a faast food resturant at ever corner!
Besides...the "BEST" cheffs in the world are "MEN!"
And if yo need to be disinfected before your mother hugs you.....this should explain your husband's blow up Poodle!

The "Fragile Gender" is such a wonderful thing!

Hey Jeff..........

This response submitted by The Male protector on 10/23/01. ( jeff's a )

Glad to hear that you're having that much fun for the past 21 years! By the way.......How is your sister?

Look at it this way....

This response submitted by CUR on 10/24/01. ( )

Women control more than 70% of the world's wealth, either by way of brilliance or via mortal longevity. They hold more than half the issued stocks on the world's markets. They have proven themselves equal in most things not requiring massive physical strength. They also have 100% of "You-know-what". With those financial and physical assets under female control, there is little hope for the male of our species. (The only thing men can do better is write their names in the snow, and if that contest were to be held, "NO HANDS", we men would lose that claim to fame too....)

It's a woman's world, face it. Most of us know it. It is a good man, though that won't go down without a fight. (Sometimes, though, I go down without fighting.......I call that a strategic surrender...he he.)

little frustrated are we?

This response submitted by Jeff Lumsden on 10/24/01. ( )

Hey little number:,

I do have a big weenie under the hood. It's also clear why you can't come out from your closet, because my sister is laughing at your profile.

I can tell that this whole "men thing" is tough for you. Let me offer some help. You may want to consider, shall I say, your same gender. Our guess is that fulfillment would be less inhibiting and embarrassing for you.

Loads of luck,


Come on now..........

This response submitted by Dave B. on 10/24/01. ( )

Lets not get side tracked here fellas.It was all meant for a couple pokes and giggles and stirring up a little "Fun" rivalry between the 2 genders! Lets leave sisters and the same gender thins out of it.
The truth of the matter is as Cur stated in a round about way...We men would be TOTALLY lost with out our women!I know I would be.In my travels to many of the State Taxidermy Shows, some of the nicest pieces I've seen have been done by our lady friends.

Heck....I love em so much that I think that all you fellas out there should "Own" at least one of them!(LOL)

Have a great day to everyone,

I will be the first to give in

This response submitted by Bill Yox on 10/24/01. ( )

Girls are it, in my book. They smell nice, and they are a helluva lot prettier then any man. Im siding with the ladies. Good cooks or not.

I cant cook

This response submitted by taxidermygirl on 10/25/01. ( )

I cant cook so my husband most times makes us dinner. OR it might be the fact that when he gets home from work and comes out to my workshop and sees me covered with blood,resin,hide-paste,borax,enviro-tex,paint,etc. I think he finds it to be a better idea to make dinner than to ask "whats for dinner".

I LOVE being a female taxidermist, and I can only think of a couple of times where a man felt it so necessary to ignore me and talk to my husband, and my husband told them that they sure as heck wouldnt be happy if HE did there mount. (It humbled them quickly.)

not to mention the ego boost it is to hear a guy tell my husband how lucky he is to have me for a wife, He says it too even when I have a better day out duck hunting.

by the way--he has me AND a lab. Lucky man indeed.

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