A Tool You MUSN'T Go Without!

Submitted by Leanna on 3/28/02. ( scardeer@cornernet.com )

My nine year old daughter Sarah came home with a loose tooth after school yesterday. She relayed her day to me, escalating up to the hoodlum who was the initial "tooth budger", her after lunch cookie. Although knowing Sarah as I do, it was the "cookie" that was her entire lunch anyway, but I relinquish that victory to her, as mom isn't at school to pose as evil lunch guardian.

Now Sarah is a very dramatic little lady when it comes to any kind of EXCRUTIATING pain, so I wasn't at all surprised when biting into a BANANA later in the evening, performed the final extraction of that tooth. Whirlwinds of excitement filled our home as she came bounding and twirling through the room, to share her good fortune with the family. I, being the Goddess to my childrens eyes, (the two 12 and under that is..LOL) was presented with the lump of banana with a supposed tooth inside. My next instructions were to be my undoing. I told Sarah to go and rinse off her tooth.

The composite of night and day, quickly transpired in our household. A jubilant face we traded for a face of the utmost holocaust and tragedy....Sarah's tooth went down the drain! Precocious as she is, she already had the drain cover out of the sink and studied the possibility of retrieval. I for once, welcomed the sight of slight "toothpaste buildup" on the ONE skinny little bar that crosses the bottom of the drain pipe, where the drain cover rests on, because her tooth was STRATEGICALLY and dangerously straddling this possible life saver.

Looking down the drain at the malicious sight, with a red-eyed sad sad little helpless face next to me, peering at me with parental hopes, I was immediatley transpired back to the Turkey Seminar, at last years World Show, when Cally Morris practically worshipped his 12 inch tweezers used for feather placement and grooming. He obviously placed an urgency in many of us, as I was the one to purchase the LAST pair of 12" long tweezers at the Al and Evelyn Holmes supply booth. I tossed both arms up with hands out towards Sarah, and demanded she NOT MOVE! I'd be right back!

Running out to the shop, grabbing up the blessed 12" tweezers, feeling a premature winner of a crass situation, reality hit me when I realized I had to stick these long damn things down a skinny little pipe and grab a TINY little tooth, PRECARIOUSLY balancing on a discarded spit of toothpaste, WITHOUT bumping it and sending it to a total demise, wearas the entire family would have hell to pay the rest of the evening AND we would have to come up with a new remedial contract to the Tooth Fairy.

New instructions of, "DON'T TOUCH ME!", were put into effect. The slowest and most agonizing LONGEST five seconds in my life, under the audience of breathholding children then passed. Having that precious little tooth in the jaws of a turkey groomer, laggardly coming out of the "forever" necked pipe, and triumphantly watching the grip continue past the sink to the safety of Sarah's hands, emiting the most satisfying of grins from her beautiful sweet face, gave me the satisfaction of being a mom and a taxidermist! Taxidermy seems to play a very large role in my families everday escapades around here, and I am awesome to the only ones it matters too!

Mom + Taxidermy = Heroinism!

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Good job Leanna!

This response submitted by marty on 3/28/02. ( meshimkus@yahoo.com )

I had a similar incident involving a favorite marble. No twelve-inch tweezers (I'll bet your husband SWEARS they're 16" - lol!), but a chopstick and used bubble gum did the trick! BTW, I've got a paint schedule for that tooth!


This response submitted by George on 3/28/02. ( georoof@aol.com )

Still seems easier had you just taken the sink drain trap off. LOL
I know Sarah is extremely happy about the tweezers.


This response submitted by you know who... on 3/28/02. ( )

you know what they say about big tweezers!

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