Some humor

Submitted by greybird on 01/11/2004. ( )

"The Thermodynamics of Hell"

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid- term exam. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with his colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. However, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus, I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

By the way, this student received the only A

Return to The Taxidermy Industry Category Menu

Nancy, I have a question

This response submitted by George on 01/11/2004. ( )

Was this written by Stephen Rogers?


This response submitted by greybird on 01/11/2004. ( )

WHAT!?!?! You mean you've never seen my "scientific" side? LOL!
'Just as well I HAVEN'T tried to type an in-depth analysis of avian flight, eh?

It was sent to me by a friend who produces local educational TV in Houston.

That was great!

This response submitted by Vicki Chritton-Myers on 01/12/2004. ( )

Thanks! =)

who goes to hell?

This response submitted by Ben on 01/15/2004. ( )

All souls do not go to hell, only those that reject
what Jesus Christ did on the cross. He died so that men and women
could escape the depths of hell. Isaiah says that hell hath
enlarged herself. Why is it that people make light of it.Do
you know who it is that is going to go to hell? The Bible
(king james 1611) says that drunkards,fornicators, adulters,
whoremongers,sodimites,by the way God HATES them, all people
who are not saved by the blood of Jesus Christ will go to hell.
If you don't like it lump it. I'm a street preacher who will
preach the gospel, and warn the wicked to turn or burn.
Isaiah 58:1 says "Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice
like a trumpet,and SHOW MY PEOPLE THEIR TRANSGRESSIONS,and the
house of jacob thier sins." "Except a man be born again he
cannot enter into the kingdom of God." John 3:8
I cry out in the name of the Lord to repent and turn to
Jesus Christ that you might escape the depths of hell.
"Except ye repent ye shall all likewise perish"
It's your CHOICE!
Christ's humble servant

All I can say to that is .....

This response submitted by (Ben doesn't get the joke!) on 01/17/2004. ( )

... yawn.

All religious zealots start to sound the same afer a while ...

Return to The Taxidermy Industry Category Menu