Snappy Answer #1
> > A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
> > a man approached, she
> > extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and
> > flashed her. Without missing
> > a beat she said, "Sir,I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Snappy Answer #2
> > A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
> > couldn't find one big
> > enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get
> > bigger?" The stock boy
> > replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Snappy Answer #3
> > The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
> > down his window.
> > "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied,
> > well I got here as
> > fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the
> > on his way without a
> > ticket.
Snappy Answer #4
> > A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
> > reads "low bridge ahead."
> > Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck
> > under the bridge. Cars are
> > backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out
> > his car and walks
> > around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
> > stuck, huh?" The truck
> > driver says, "No sir, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
Snappy Answer(s) #5
> > A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was
> > a long line of
> > inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way
> > the desk. He slapped his
> > ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and
> > has to be FIRST CLASS."
> > The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you,
> > I've got to help these
> > folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The
> > passenger was unimpressed.
> > He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO
> > HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
> > Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address
> > microphone."May I have your
> > attention please," she
> > began her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a
> > passenger here at Gate 14 WHO
> > DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity,
> > come to Gate 14." With
> > the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at
> > United agent, gritted
> > his teeth and swore. "F***you! "Without flinching, she smiled and
> > "I'm sorry, sir, but
> > you'll have to get in line for that, too."
Snappy Answer #6
> > A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
> > I won't tolerate any
> > excuses for you not being here tomorrow." A smart-ass guy in the back
> > the room raised his
> > hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
> > from complete and utter
> > sexual exhaustion?" The entire class stifled their laughter and
> > snickering. When silence was
> > restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student and said,
> > "Well, I guess you'd have
> > to write the exam with your other hand."
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thanks for the laugh