(A scene at City Hall in San Francisco )
"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers? You can't get married."
"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest?" No, we are not gay."
"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other.
Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I
have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a
woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us
just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."
"Hi. We are here to get married."
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert,
Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that
it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples.
The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a
"All right, all right. Next."
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to
marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."
"That does it! I quit! You people are making a mockery of
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Funny, but true!
I need to get out of this state. I just don't fit in. I'm not gay, I hunt, and I'm not a liberal. Anyone hiring outside of CA?
"the founding forefathers of the country tipped the nation on end and everything that was loose slid to california" i don't know who said it but i feel sorry for you anyways :-)
has the federal ninth circuit court of appeals, with those people, california needs all the help it can get.
If lesbians marry, and one represents "the man", does she have to sign up for selective service?
We have alot of them here in New York also.I live near New Paltz which had a bunch of those Three dollar recepetions done.Talk about weird we have one customer who used to be a man and had the change into a <women? and we had to change his name in the records at work.I gotta say he is one butt ugley thing now.Do you know how hard it is to talk to someone like this without laughing at them.Also hes cheaper now as a women,any thoughts on that.LOL
As the Beach Boys would say... "I wish they all could be California girls..."
Only people with high morels (as defined by the majority) should be entitled to tax relief? I didn't realize that that is why people were opposed to it. Learn something new every day.
Are we going to loose benefits because my wife and I didn't make it to church last Sunday or do we just attach a written excuse from our Minister to our tax return?
Are those the kind of mushrooms that cause people to 'trip?'
Morels are the good ones (so are morals). I believe you are thinking of Amanita species.
Sorry about that Vicki, must of had a flashback and my spell checker failed me again. It was a good one though :-o
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Personally, I think the government should make no concessions as to marital status, much less who you might be married to. That way, some of the people marrying just because of any benefits they may receive, won't bother. I've always felt marriage was a religious ceremony myself, based on biblical and/or religious belief. I guess if two brothers want to marry, that is between them, but I wouldn't consider it a marriage in the eyes of God, but merely a civil union. Maybe the word 'marriage' should be re-defined as a union of a man and woman in the eyes of God, in a service performed by a minister, rabbi, etc. All the other non-religion 'marriages' could be called 'civil unions' to differentiate. Who knows....there obviously isn't an easy answer to this one.