Humor

Submitted by JOhn C on 03/19/2004 at 15:38. ( ) 66.233.157.155

A group of Little Rock, Arkansas friends went deer hunting
and paired off in twos for the day.

That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind.
He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter
replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter.
"But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!

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More Humor

This response submitted by Vic on 03/19/2004 at 16:20. ( ) 66.84.232.180


>A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city-dude"
>outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and, when asked by a sweet young
>little lady if she could help him, he answered, "Yes ma'am. Ya see, I'm
>from Texas and I want to buy one of those up-town, in-style,
>designer-type, complete city-dude outfits."
>
>Her eyes lit up, anticipating a huge sales commission, as she purred,
>"Where would you like to start?"
>
>"Well, ma'am, how about a suit?"
>
>"Yes sir. What size?"
>
>"Size 53 tall, ma'am."
>
>"Wow, that's really big."
>
>"Yes ma'am, they really grow them big in Texas."
>
>"What's next?" she asked.
>
>He replied, "How about some shoes?"
>
>"What size?"
>
>"Size 15 double E."
>
>"Wow, that's really some kind of big!"
>
>"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
>
>"What's next?"
>
>"Well, I reckon I'll need a shirt."
>
>"Absolutely...Yes sir... What size?"
>
>"Nineteen and a half neck, sleeve length - 38," he replied.
>
>"Wow, how much bigger can you get?!"
>
>"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
>
>"Will there be anything else?" she asked.
>
>"Yes ma'am. I 'spect I'll need a hat."
>
>"Yes, sir...What's a Texan without a hat?... What size?"
>
>"Eight and five-eighths."
>
>"Wow, that's really, really, humongus!"
>
>"Yes ma'am. They really grow them big in Texas."
>
>She virtually glowed as she asked, "Is there anything else I can help
>you with?"
>
>"No ma'am , I reckon that will be all."
>
>As the sweet young thing tallied up his bill, and as the Texan counted
>out his money, she blushed and asked, "Sir, would you mind if I ask you
>a really personal question?"
>
>"No, ma'am, but I already know what it is. And the answer is four
>inches."
>
>Astonished, she blurted out, "Why, my boyfriend's is bigger than that...
>and, he ain't even close to being from Texas!"
>
>Without so much as a stutter, the Texan said, "From the floor,
>ma'am.......from the floor!"


One more

This response submitted by Vic on 03/19/2004 at 16:22. ( ) 66.84.232.180

In Wisconsin
>>
>> A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as
>>he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
>>
>> Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over
>>to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
>>
>> "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're
>>mating," her father replied.
>>
>> "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a
>>Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered. "So, the other one is a
>>Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
>>
>> "No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
>>
>> The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and
>>stomped them flat. "Well, that might be OK in California, but we're
>>not having any of that crap in Wisconsin "
>>


dirty johnny

This response submitted by mike c on 03/19/2004 at 22:06. ( ) 69.18.26.167

teacher asked the class to use the word fascinate in a sentence. little suzy raised her hand and said " my parents and i went to the zoo yesterday and i was just fascinated by the polar bears." thats good replied the teacher but i would like you to use the word fascinate. Dirty johnny raised his hand . teacher thought surely he wouldn't mess this up so she called upon johnny. Johnny said" yesterday my aunt betty bought a new blouse and it had 12 buttons on it but her boobs are so big she can "fasten eight".


one more....

This response submitted by michael s. on 03/21/2004 at 09:09. ( ) 205.188.116.148

a little boy was sitting in the tub playing with his testicles, he looks up and says "mommy are these my brains" she says "not yet honey..not yet"


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