A group of Missouri Hillbillies went deer hunting
and paired off in twos for the day. That night,
one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under the weight of an eight-point buck.
Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry
had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of
miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry lying out there and carried
the deer back?" they inquired."A tough call,"
nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is
going to steal Henry!
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NEWS FLASH! - Joplin, Missouri--
The Ozarks worst air disaster occurred when a
small two-seater Cessna 150 passenger plane, piloted by
two Southern Missouri University students,
crashed into a cemetery earlier today in The Ozarks.
Mountaineer search and rescue workers have
recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the
number to climb as digging continues into the
evening. The pilot and copilot survived and
are helping in the recovery efforts.
The owner of a golf course in the Missouri
Ozarks was confused about paying an invoice,
so he decided to ask his secretary for some
He called her into his office and said, "You
graduated from the University of The Ozarks
and I need some help. If I were to give you
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied,
Everything but my earrings."
> > > While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and
> > > a sheep and began a conversation. Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there.
> > > Mind if I speak to him?"
> > > Indian: "Dog no talk."
> > > Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
> > > Dog: "Doin' all right."
> > > Indian: Look of shock.
> > > Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.
> > > Dog: "Yep"
> > > Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
> > > Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes
> > > me to the lake once a week to play."
> > > Indian: Look of total disbelief.
> > > Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
> > > Indian: "Horse no talk."
> > > Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
> > > Horse: "Cool."
> > > Indian: Extreme look of shock.
> > > Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at the Indian.
> > > Horse: "Yep"
> > > Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
> > > Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
> > > down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."
> > > Indian: Total look of utter amazement.
> > > Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
> > > Indian: "Sheep liar."