Letter to the president

Submitted by not a hillbilly on 11/12/04 at 5:38 PM. ( ) 63.207.101.36


Letter to President Bush from a Christian Right Wing Wack Job:

Dear President Bush, Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate. However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

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This wasn't me!

This response submitted by Cecil on 11/12/04 at 5:42 PM. ( ) 64.184.33.158

In case you think so by my previous post.


>>>>>Cecil, HillBilly and the Bubba boys<<<<

This response submitted by Pro Taxidermist on 11/12/04 at 6:05 PM. ( ) 69.171.249.149

Cecil,

LMAO We smell a guilty conscience in you.....


HillBilly and the Bubba Boys:

You must be upset over Bush winning the election? What a way to state it. But than: The ignorant do not know they are doing wrong, do they?

LMAO

PRO-Taxidermist


Old Testament

This response submitted by Mark H on 11/12/04 at 6:09 PM. ( haskees@access4less.net ) 64.63.205.127

Verses New Testament......When Jesus came he was the fullfillment of all the prophesy of the old testament and he established a new covanent with man. The laws of Leviticus in the old testament don't apply now.


You got it Mark!

This response submitted by Pro Taxidermist on 11/12/04 at 6:24 PM. ( ) 69.171.249.149

Mark,

You are the man! Most people and the various religions don't even know what you know! Keep it going!


But Pro Taxidermist is the authority on

This response submitted by Cecil on 11/12/04 at 7:04 PM. ( ) 64.184.33.158

religions right? If you know so much about all relgions why are you so ignorant on catholicism?

As I indicated earlier I did not post the initial post.

Mark H, excellent post but I knew that.


Sorry God, is busy at this time please call back.

This response submitted by John C on 11/12/04 at 7:07 PM. ( ) 70.178.74.104

I felt inspired so this must sure be a sign from God do take on a bit of his work.


1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

With this you must understand Canadians are Superior to you, there for you cannot own one.

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

Having seen your daughter, you should pay a large dowrry to get rid of her.

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

I understand you pain, turn the other cheek and maybe it will not hurt as badley

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?


Dude, you have to remove the hide, being a taxidermist you should also have SOME CLUE HOE TO BBQ! Duh!

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?


Please by all means go ahead, we don't need people like in taxidermy.

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

Like the little old lady on Jay Leno. If you are that Dumb not even my high ranking buddy can help you.

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

The sight can even be you pathway thru life.
Since you voted for Kerry you are hell bound. Repent and you shall be saved. But You will still be ask to defend your vote.
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

Well you have to wash the crap off your hands first, in either case.

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.

Yes, but since this is one of the few times you have ask for help, as they say in the cartoons. FOOOOR GETTTTTT ITTTTTT.


Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

See above post, you cannot be that slow, can you? You have a computer try google maybe someone there can help.

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

This would have held merit but since its cut and paste you loooooose!



Why Cecil, you DO have a guilty conscience......?

This response submitted by Pro Taxidermist on 11/12/04 at 7:43 PM. ( ) 69.171.249.149

Cecil,

What happened to the thick skin you are so (informus)famous for? Notice the spelling?

LMAO at "alter boy". Calm down and go for counseling!

Love,

Pro Taxidermist


Not a hillbilly IS an idiot

This response submitted by Jordan on 11/12/04 at 9:21 PM. ( ) 24.255.124.23

Mark beat me to it.That was all in the OLD TESTAMENT! Thats like saying, he said he hates blacks.Then you find out he really said he hates Black's Root Beer.Just like you people to misquote and tell half the story.Get a life,or maybe since your an old testament traditionallist,you should go play marbles on the highway..........................thats the punishment for writing blashphemous crap.


Exactly!

This response submitted by M.T. on 11/13/04 at 5:22 AM. ( ) 207.72.44.27

That was the Old Testament . You must be a JW or Seventh Day Adventice. When Jesus Christ came to this earth, He fullfilled the Prophesis and is the new Covenant. All of your questions are answered in the New Testament.


Even so what kind of God

This response submitted by Lou on 11/13/04 at 10:08 AM. ( ) 64.78.67.122

Ok the law is fulfilled in the New Testament by Christ I agree, but what kind of God would have set those rules in the first place; Putting a price on selling your child into slavery, killing entire villages (including elderly, kids, pregnant women), touching pigs is wrong? C'mon... these were rules setup by old men who thought a common cold was brought on by the devil, that the earth was flat, and that the sun revolved around us. They didn't know any better.

One other thing if Christians aren't bound by the law anymore than why do they make a point to quote it when someone (Christian or not) is doing something that goes against it.
Seems to me Christians want to subject other people to the law when it's something they don't agree with or convenient for them, but when it's something like selling your child into slavery or stoning someone to death, which our society does not embarrass, then Christians use the excuse "M.T." uses "That was the Old Testament . You must be a JW or Seventh Day Adventice. When Jesus Christ came to this earth, He fullfilled the Prophesis and is the new Covenant."

This a little off topic but I need to say it. I think a lot of Christians should really look back in history and see how well Christian governments performed before they wish for a Government that is ran primarily by Christian laws.

BTW, I'm new to the boards and i just saw this thread that I felt I should comment on. If I offend you I'm sorry but this is the way I feel.


Nice try Hillbilly.....

This response submitted by rc on 11/15/04 at 7:47 AM. ( ) 67.140.207.157

But it took a heck of a lot more than just right wing fundamentalists to keep Bush in office. Admit the fact that you lost and quit pointing fingers. Analyze the MANY mistakes and flaws within the Democratic party and only then will you have a clue how to win an election.


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