Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It
cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart
murmur. Be careful.'"
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath
he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
" No," he replied, "arthritis."
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