Subject: John Kerry Memorial Fund
Dear Friends and Relatives,
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise $5,000,000 for a monument of John Kerry. We originally wanted to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.
We then decided to erect a statue of Kerry in Washington, D. C. Hall Of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since John could never tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, and when he got there he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's widow's money.
If you are one of the fortunate people who have anything left after taxes, we expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.
John Kerry Monument Committee
P.S. The Committee has raised $1.35 so far.
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send me the address at the united nations building...i'll i.o.u.
them an amount. or maybe not..let me check the polls first.