THE BEST DRINKING STORY EVER
From the state where drinking and driving is
sport, comes a true story from Texas.
Recently a routine police patrol parked
outside a local
Late in the evening the officer noticed a
man leaving the
bar so intoxicated that he could barely
The man stumbled around the parking lot for
minutes with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his
keys on five
different vehicles the man managed to find
his own car
which he fell into.
He was there for a few minutes as a number
patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the
wipers on and off
(it was a dry night), flicked the hazard
flasher on and off,
tooted the horn and then switched on the
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches,
then reversed a
little and then remained stationary for a
few more minutes
as more patrons left in their vehicles. At
last he pulled out
of the parking lot and started to drive
slowly down the
The police officer, having patiently waited
all this time,
now started up his patrol car, put on the
promptly pulled the man over and carried out
a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated
of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to
ask you to
accompany me to the Police station.
This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the
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