In a small Midwestern town, two gays died of AIDS. The mortician was afraid of catching the disease from the corpse, so he refused to prepare the bodies for burial. So, finally, in desperation, the hospital called on the local taxidermist. He said, "Sure, bring 'em on over, I'll take care of 'em." So an ambulance driver carts the bodies off to the taxidermists shop. When he arrives, the taxidermist asks the ambulance driver "Do you want them mounted?" to which the driver replies "Nah, just holding hands......."
"As told by my Mother-In-Law from Idaho...."
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Now you just could be a REDNECk if...
You don't have a home phone
You stockpile Pork & Beans
You have a refrigerator just for beer..
You clean your hands daily with gasoline.
You wouldn't dare go anywhere without jumper cables..
The cottage cheese container in your refrigerator holds night crawlers
You practice fishing off your front porch
All your wedding guests were seated on the same side of the church.
Every room in your house is a junk room
The biggest sign on your place of business says "Minnows!"
You've ever backed down an exit ramp.
You've ever been on TV not wearing a shirt.
You've ever read the entire Sunday paper sitting in the bathroom
You've ever thrown a tailgate party at a tractor pull.
You have to wash your hands ...before you go to the bathroom
You know your daddy's CB handle, but not his real name.
You own a monogrammed minnow bucket.
You own a Waffle House credit card.
Your flashlight holds more than four batteries.
Your horse can count higher than you.
Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.
All your relatives cars have "Tag Stolen" signs in the rear window.
Confessing to 11 of those that are listed for the "redneck"...i suppose i am certified..ROFL
There can't be a single taxidermist out there who hasn't been asked, "Could you mount my wife(husband)?" Or, "So, you mount animals. Isn't that illegal?"
I have seen alot of hunters wife's I would mount
I told him I didn't mount married women with her standing there. Her face got all red. LOL
I fish in my front and back yard. Is that similar to casting off your front porch?
I think you lost an adjective in there someplace, but I won't pick on you....much.
Just don't let it go to your head.
And now you have to be snide, huh? Predictable. LMAO
Should be married. LOL
Not my post. I'm at work at 6:15 . Guess the "Peace" threw ya! Anywho. Jeff F.