Meteor Strikes Springfield IL. Thousands die!

Submitted by International Inquirer on 4/1/05 at 5:04 PM. ( )

------Chicago IL.---------
Meteor impact in Springfield IL. approx. 2000 people die, hundreds injured. Center of impact was the parking lot on the north side of the Crown Plaza Hotel and Convention Center.

Every good taxidermist killed except you and me. The question is still out on you?

Effect from the impact cause hundreds of animals to posed in lifelike positions. There were few people that survived, those appear to be the taxidermit that do inferior work and could not afford the quality hotel or its other lesser quality rooms located directly to the south.

George Roof of Maryland tried to save the day, when someone ask "How to handle a meteor, what do we do?" Mr Roof responded, "Check the archives you bumbling idiot!"

Several lesser known people turn the hair diers located in each room on to attempt to deflect or melt the icie object.

One person in the parking lot turned a high pressure washer toward the oncoming object Screaming "Never fear Archie Phillips is here."

Other people followed Mr. Bruce Rittel in an attempt to change the pH of the incoming object and with hopes the a change in pH would cause the crystalin object to fall out of the path.

Dan Bantley was observed running from the scene yelling. "Cant touch me now. Hahahaha."

Frank Newmyers last word were. I should have never worn White socks, I just knew this would happen, oh the horror!"

Cindy Crain Se, for the National Taxidermist Assoc. ran to her room to get a glass for ice, and one last Coke a cola.

Al Holmes and Evylen grabbed shovels hoping to sell some of the meteor for habitat material.

Brian Harness of Ozark Woods, grabed a deer panel and was last heard, I hope this is better than the panel others sell, well these are solid wood. I wish I had stayed home.

Tom McNiel of Taxishop computer programs all my work ruined, ruined.

The film crew from the BBC, said we have this on film, we were first on the scene, then realized their cameras were back in the room.

Results are few remaining taxidermist will go up on prices for their labor. Many will remain in the dark. No questions will be answered.
Sad fact is PETA has invaded the boards and noone cares.

All major supply companies have been destroied and supplies can now be purchased at Wal Mart, Home Depot or Lowes. If you cant get them there you dont need them.

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Not too bad

This response submitted by Kim on 4/1/05 at 7:02 PM. ( )

Not bad.......needed a tad more work, but not bad!


This response submitted by marty on 4/1/05 at 7:28 PM. ( ) I know why you didn't leave your name. Don't quit your day job!

good job

This response submitted by ben (thinkin on them lines all week) on 4/1/05 at 7:43 PM. ( )

dont mind marty he's a fib.


This response submitted by Alex on 4/1/05 at 10:20 PM. ( )

Marty got hit in the funny bone ?

With "facts' like those...

This response submitted by George on 4/1/05 at 10:29 PM. ( )

...he's gotta work for the National Enquirer. When did I move? And I'll pay someone well if they could EVER find me use the term "bumbling idiot". My vocabulary is much better than that and there are some many more descriptive phrases I'd prefer over that one.

Probably a different George Roof

This response submitted by PA on 4/2/05 at 9:25 AM. ( )

Because the lovable George Roof is from Delaware.

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