Southern Humor

Submitted by BWS on 4/29/05 at 9:36 AM. ( ... )

A Texan was doing some shopping in downtown San Antonio. He looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man getting ready to jump....

"Stop", he yelled, "remember you are someone who has value!"
The man yelled back, "I just lost everything in the stock market!"
"But remember you're important to your wife," yelled the Texan.
"She divorced me and took everything i had that was not in the stock market."
"Your children, remember your children," yelled the Texan.
"They never call," said the man.
"Then remember your parents!" yelled the Texan.
"Dead as doornails!" said the man.
"Then remember the Alamo!" yelled the Texan.
The man shouted, "What's the Alamo?"
The Texan replied, "Jump, Yankee!"

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This response submitted by ETCC on 4/29/05 at 3:16 PM. ( )

A plane was flying across the Atlantic Ocean and having engine started losing altitude.

The Pilot comes back with a parachute on his back and tells the passengers..."I'm going for help"...and jumps overboard.

The Co-Pilot gets on the radio intercome..."We have to lighten the load...throw out all luggage and everythinbg not fastened down...we're losing altitude".

The passengers throw everything overboard.

The Co-Pilot says..."We're still losing altitude...somebody will have to sacrafice".

A Frenchman stands up and says..."Vive La France", and he jumps overboard.

Co-pilot says..."We're still losing altitude...somebodt else will have to sacrafice to save all the rest of us".

An Englishman stands up and says..."Allowe Ve In England"...and he jumps overboard.

Co-Pilot says..."We're still losing least someone else will have to sacrafdice or we all go down".

A Big Texan jumps up and says..."Remember The Alimo"...and Throws a Mexican overboard".


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