RASMUSSEN INDUSTRIES FIGHTS OFF HOSTILE TAKEOVER
Builds cash pile, TexasTaxi in the frame
By Hoosier Daddy Daily: Friday 25 August 2006, 06:29pm
Reporter Al Coholic
A REPORT said industrial giant Rusmussrn Industries subsidiary Hoosier Manikins is building a cash mountain by selling a red squirrel on Taxidermydotnet to raise money to stave off hostile taxidermist, that have bought into the company. Only yesterday, August 24, 2006 after going public Rasmussen declared the company " first of it's kind a taxidermist held and traded company." The company was designated the symbol JOKE by the NYSA.
Prior to the IPO there was a power struggle initiated by alleged investors/members who had won the August promotional contest for the "fresher' coon. The prize being simultaneously claimed by Mr. Predator, and Mr. TexasTaxi.
The Hoosier Daddy Daily quotes registered member TexasTaxi on August 21 "I WON ... I WON"! " When will you be shipping my prize?"
The contest being immediately contested when Mr. Predator apparently smelling a rat chimed in "what about this contest?. what's up with it" Immediately after buying into the company and now a major stock holder "TexasTaxi" at a meeting of the board quoted "I thought I WON"!
TexasTaxi then begged Predator ... "don't steal my glory by saying the contest isn't over."
Mr. Assmusen owes me a coon skin! I need it to make a loin cloth for my next theater production!
THE COON IS MINE ... ALL MINE!
Predator then questions the integrity of the contest and the CEO Rasmussen: "guess the contest is over. saw he had the coons for sale on taxi net. bummer. what kind of bs is that. start a contest, everyone gets all excited about winning and poof he goes and leaves us hanging and wondering then takes the coons and tries to sell for a profit. he is a good businessman tho"
With Administrator Rasmussen visibly absent Predator then claims the prize as his: "I won the contest! along with a signed "Gutten' Sick" "Where are you Rasmussen when you get called to the table?"
TexasTaxi not to be outdone: " Predator ... how many times do I have to tell you I WON THE CONTEST ... THE COON RUG AND GUTTEN STICK ARE MINE"!
Seeing the monster he had created by taking Rasmussen Industries public M.N.R. pm's the members of Hoosier Manikins ""Guys i don't want to have to close this forum down but thanks to cb over on taxinet i may have to i don't want to but anyone who can tell me who he is i would appreciate it a great deal"
TexasTaxi still reeling from the effects of having to share his coonskin and guttin stick with Predator made a post derogatory to the former CEO now the "god" which was immediately dealt with via the company Administrator hitting the delete button on all his post.
Rasmussen then post his infamous I AM AN IDIOT post;
TexasTaxi responds:I agree 100%!
Rasmussen then asks: with what do you agree 100%?
TexasTaxi posts and agrees with Rasmussen that he is an idiot.
The sword of Rasmussen is swift and sharp, who immediately starts deleting TexasTaxi posts saying "i'm the supreme god on here"
TexasTaxi post: Hey, IDIOT, quit deleting my threads!
TexasTaxi: Breaking news, here people ... Assmusen has just declared himself an idiot!
EddieJ: Old news
TexasTaxi: ROFLMAO
Not to be out done TexasTaxi in a death wish posted "I bet I can type faster than you!" Where TexasTaxi typed continually to "Full Membership" status earning him 3 stars, and a "blazing folder."
Rasmussen has obtained the highest rank obtainable by declaring "i'm the supreme god" on his industry message board at 3:30 pm August 25th. This only one day after Hoosier Manniken went public.
So far Michael has refused this reporter's request for an interview.
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I need a splash guard for my poor keyboards. You gotta put some sort of "DANGER! MAY CAUSE LIQUIDS TO SQUIRT OUT YOR NOSE" warning on these posts. That's funny. I don't care who ya are...
If ya'll don't take down my story im going to sew all of you for copierite violations because you steel this stuff of my site an use it agains me to make me look like a idiot
ROFLMAO
I love reading that stuff over there, it's like a day care for baby taxidermists! Today, I just couldn't take it anymore, so I started typing away. The above report is pretty much how the events unfolded ... ya'll shoulda been there!
I nearly fell out over Crusty's "Uncontrollable Squirting Nose"!
I have had tears running down my face all night.