After taking a break for vacation and easing back into my full time day job, I went to my shop to get a few things. After a brief stay and return trip home I got to thinking about some of the things ive done and seen in my brief but interesting trip in the taxidermy world.
Some of these include and some questions include:
1.where did that extra deer cape in my pickle come from?
2.where did the red fox that was in the pickle disappear to?
3.how come every time i mix bondo the phone rings when its startin to kick?
4.I've made pickles in 55 gal. barrels, keg ice buckets, 5 gal buckets, an igloo cooler, and once in a 10 gal. fishtank. ( i salt in an old kiddie pool)
5.What do you do with all the scrap hide layin around the shop? ( I think i have enought to start a fly tying supply house)
6. My landlord told me that dead bodies sometimes make fire alarms go off. Ours mysteriously started malfunctioning the week after trapping season opened.
7. How did my collection of unused forms get so big? so fast?
8.How much more bondo do i have to buy before i get a personal Christmas card from the president of Bondo?
Here's a few for the You might be a taxidermist if... list.
... all the venison in your freezer consists of neck roasts
...if your son corrects the teacher and says there only two seasons in a year, those beeing hunting and fishing
...if you make your own alginate mold of your kids teeth to save money at the orthodontist
...you ask to have your paid holidays ( on your full time day job) changed to the opening days of deer, trout, duck, bass, and turkey seasons
...if you regularly get calls from the butcher to pick stuff up at the local deer butcher but you havent killed on in over 3 years
Any others to add? I know im not the only one with strange goings on or ponderings in the shop.
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This response submitted by John C. on 11/3/1998. ( )
You see more of the butcher than you see of your wife. There not many mammals you can think of that you have not ate, with BBQ sauce. At family gatherings your meat trays go untouched. The only time you see your kids is when there getting ready for school in the mornings. Your wife knows you are not out having an affair, why because she sees the work your getting done late at night. Your temper flairs when the phone rings even though its not for you. Your family vacation consist of another taxidermy convention and a trip to the ZOO. You can identify road kill, with out regards to how long they have been laying in the road. You can spot a good road kill from fifty feet away at 70 mph. You might be a taxidermist if every duck you harvest, gets breasted out tagged and goes into the freezer. ( what am I going to do with last years 45 ducks) You have been a taxidermist to long when you watch for freezers to go on sale in DECEMBER, and can pay cash for that 24 cubic foot model. You might be a taxidermist if you understand all these little quims, and they dont seem that funny. John C.
This response submitted by Jerry S. on 11/5/1998. ( firstname.lastname@example.org )
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Interesting things in the shop . . . you mean like arriving at your shop door and having a 5 gallon bucket sitting by the front door with a rock holding a board on it? My shop is in the country and folks routinely leave rattlers (dead and alive) for me! You tend to get a little jumpy! And I've never lost anyone's antlers or hides - but I did come up with an extra deer head one year. At the end of the deer season I noticed a complete skull that I had soaking but had no tag on it and I had no idea who's it was. Since it was soaking I knew it was supposed to be a skull mount so I completed the mount and put it in my showroom. Several months later a buddy called and asked if I had ever finished his deer skull. I thought quick and asked if it was the "high racked 8 pointer) and when he said yes I bluffed, "Hell, I've been trying to get hold of you to pick it up!". he apologized for moving and not giving me his new address! Picked it up that day! Jerry
This response submitted by Bill on 11/5/1998. ( )
Jumpin' Jerry, how DO you get a live rattler out of a bucket?
This response submitted by John C on 11/5/1998. ( )
Ben Haden can tell you. Never freeze a bunch of snakes at once I hear something about hibernation.
This response submitted by dave on 11/5/1998. ( firstname.lastname@example.org )
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So how do ya get a rattler out of the bucket? I wonder if dumpin in some gas or laquer thinner and sealin the top would do the trick. I've also heard about live snakes in the stomachs of large bass. Quite the surprise when you clean the fish. Dave
This response submitted by Jerry S. on 11/6/1998. ( firstname.lastname@example.org )
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Getting a rattler out of a bucket . . . easy! Just reach in and grab it! I have a pair of snake tongs about 32" long. Squeeze the handle and the business end will close up. Use the tongs and just reach in and grab em'. I was a semi-rural area cop for 21 years and my patrol unit always carried snake tongs and a snake box. The best time to catch em is in the fall right after dusk. When the air is starting to get a little cool they'll crawl onto the warmer pavement of country roads. I've picked up as many aw 12 in one night - between calls of course! . . . now that I think of it . . . prisoners weren't too thrilled! To kill one for mounting I just put it in a box or bag and set it in a freezer for a few days. A good friend and (now retired) taxidermist once put a rattler in the freezer and came back to skin it the next day. Layed it out on the counter to thaw and a little while later noticed that the tongue was slowly coming out of the mouth!!! Since then she freezes them for SEVERAL days! Jerry
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