Did I mention the hurricane? My father calls says bring down your chainsaw this weekend when you come on down to Galveston. Translation, being old makes you wise! Notice he doesn't own a chainsaw! also since no trees grow on the beach this means we are going to do a little recycling of someones house! My father should of been a taxidermist, nothing goes to waste..If you can't use it it means you just haven't found the right project yet. Anyway I pull out old fuss and cuss. I need to make some new sawdust for the tumbler anyway and the pieces of oak need to be cut down to fit into my smoker. First of all chainsaws should be a onetime use item. Use it once and throw away! I throw the saw up on the workbench, luckly theres enough dp laying around to absorb the oil that starts flowing out of the dam thing, the chain is looser then some getto bike with the wrong size tire and sprocket on it. I tighten the chain and add some of the 40 to one mixture gas to it..yea right, its called thats about right gas to be more exact. I give it a couple a pulls sounds like a rich women with gas, this ain't cuttin it...I pull and cuss like some idiot on COPS. Sweats pouring outta me causing a flow of water and beer mixture that gobs up all the dp on the floor to look like that tide soap you dump on the oil stains on the driveway. That doesn't work and old cuss and fuss ain't working either..Im mighty bent at this point and the blister I developed just blew out like I have high blood pressure or somethin and so just one second before I pitch this lousy saw over the fence to kill that stupid mutt that won't stop barking I decide to cry in my beer. Shiner Bock smooth,cold and gold, ahhhh my brain cells return to there proper position so since i'm thinking clear I bust out the engine start can! EEEETHER. Ain't spelt correctly but who cares! you get the point. Put a match on this stuff and you can weld your gold teeth together! Hell maybe thats how the rap stars came up with gold fronts! I've seen a few carbs blow back in my day! I put the gas to the saw she fires off like a monster truck. I lay on the gas throwing oil,dust,powder oil and smoke all over the garage. Skins are swinging off the rafters bloods dripping outta my hand I look like leatherface from the Texas chainsaw massacre. When I'm at the height of my joy I look outta the smoke and see a blonde pigtail in a green dress dropping cookies headed down the drive in record speed!.I guess my shorts with cowboy boots was a bit much. This ain't pretty and its gonna leave a scar! If you ever have to tangle with a sow hog with piglets or a girlscouts momma...TAKE THE SOW! This is why all chainsaws should be a one use item. Use it throw away, pickle,tan,salt,dp use then throw away!
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