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Letter I sent to the NTA board, my address to you the readers, and John Belluchi

Discussion in 'The Taxidermy Industry' started by antlerman, Feb 26, 2013.

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  1. Max Weber

    Max Weber Guest

    Which letter or where is it that says this conviction was "expunged" ?
    All criminals say they are innocent.
  2. critterstuffr

    critterstuffr New Member

    Antlerman it takes a lot of strength to stand and carry what you've been forced to carry. You've always tried to not only stand but to stand tall. The turn the other cheek only goes so far. Sometimes when you get called out enough times its time to stand once again, step out side and give some what they asked for . . . .a good ole whooping. 8)

  3. EA

    EA Well-Known Member

    Having your record expunged has nothing to do with guilt or innocence. Crimes you are guilty of can be expunged.

    He put up a letter showing they were false accusations.
  4. antlerman

    antlerman NTA Life Member #0118

    You were convicted,but it does look strange on the States part afterthat. I did not read anything specific that exonerates you from the conviction in the documents that you provided, unless I missed something?

    No, I was never exonerated. Just let go. Which I agreed to. They brought me up on a writ 4 times and each time the prosecutor asked for a continuance. The judge became pissed. That's when they took me in a back room and we struck a deal. WE went back in front of the judge and the States Attorney told the judge what had become of our talk and 3 times the judge asked me if I was sure that I agreed to the terms, and each time I said that I did. In reality, I do believe that the judge was trying to help me and although he couldn't act as my lawyer, he was I believe trying to sway me towards getting that exonerated. I was just happy to be getting the [expletive deleted] out of there. It was put to me verbatim, "If you are willing to not sue, or put it in the news paper, I'm willing to let you go". Listen, after 5 years that was some sweet music to my ears. Hindsight......I should have asked for more, but I didn't.

    As far as her coming clean. She did. For a long time, my family was ordered to have no contact with them. But my dear old grandmother grew tired of that notion and called her one day. Immediately the girl started crying and said I'm sorry. My mom made me do it. When the order of a new trial came, no-one showed up to challenge it. IE that was the sorry I got. And that was good enough for me.

    How would you have liked to be that child? She was ridiculed at school, by her friends, and became a target for boys. My oldest stepson and her were classmates. He's told me all about how she was treated afterwards. Her mother turned her into a victim. Not me. I loved that child. She was my deer girl. Everyday she helped me with the feeding chores. And she was the one who bottle fed all the fawns. She would gather bucket loads of persimmons for them. She was a tomboy and we had a great relationship. I haven't seen her since I came home. She's just down the road from me about 10 miles. Has a couple of kids. I don't know if she's married or just has a boyfriend. My sons did run into her at a bar one night and they talked and cried and hugged each other. I'm told it went good. I don't pursue reaching out. I figure that some day when she's ready she'll come pulling in the drive way, and if she does, I'll hug her and tell her that I'm not mad and it's all ok. She was a child. She was/is the victim. Her mother, the perpetrator. I hope she rots in hell. I'm told they don't have a relationship anymore. It's sad isn't it. She lost her mother, and the only dad she ever knew. Yeah, keep pissing me off Belluchi. Weber....go **** yourself.
  5. Harry Whitehead

    Harry Whitehead I love to hunt Buffalos!!!!!

    ALL innocent people say they are innocent as well!!!
  6. Megan :)

    Megan :) Well-Known Member

    Holy crap....
    Tim I knew nothing of what had happened until I found a hint of it in a long forgotten post I found on one of my late nights cruising through all the information on here. I never had any questions because I thought it was just some old guy calling names because he was mad at you.

    Then all this NTA stuff started... And now.... I still have no questions. None.
    it's got to be a hard thing to lay bare something like that from your past.

    You've got my support Tim. :D no question there either!
  7. George

    George The older I get, the better I was.

    Tim, there's always going to be POS out there like Max Weber (the same guy who doesn't need to see Obama's birth certificate).

    I had a friend in service. He had 25 years in and was doing an exceptional job with a promising 5 years left. Then his daughter told her teacher that he'd molested her. He was arrested. The military jumped on the PC wagon and discharged him within 3 days under the "undesireable" clause. He was incarcerated and was about to go to trial when the daughter admitted that she'd done it only to "get back" at him for not allowing her to be out past midnight with her boyfriend.

    The man was destroyed and remains that way. The military did come back and "give" him a retirement check, but everywhere he went in this small state, he carried that stigma without any resolution. From an outgoing extrovert, he's turned into a recluse who won't speak to many of us when he sees us.

    This is what the PC system has brought us through our "education system". You don't have to be guilty to be convicted for life.

    Certainly no real person would condone true abuse of any type to anyone, but the fact remains that SOMETIMES the system has flaws and they show tragically.

    And to you Max, you're a gutless SOB who'd even think about using the CMofH as an avatar.
  8. Gunny

    Gunny Old Timer

    Tim, I don't understand how you can be incarcerated for five years without a trial. Did you spend five years waiting for a trial not being able to make bail? And if she admitted to lying why would you not fight tooth and nail to get especially a charge like child molestation cleared all together? I have not read any of your past posts addressing this chapter of your life. I clicked on this thread that you put out there, and just had a couple questions. Good Luck
  9. antlerman

    antlerman NTA Life Member #0118

    I've got one more thing to say and then I'm done unless someone has another question. Which I've never ran from answering. I look at it this way. People have the right to know. Just like the NTA stuff. People have a right to know.

    First let me say thanks to my friends. Some of you truly know me and some are more just friends on here, but I love people and appreciate all who can except me as a friend. I've made a lot of strides in the last 10 years and I hope to make more. Those of you who want to continue to attack, thats up to you. You have to live with yourself. Not me. But one thing I do know for sure, none of you cowards have the balls to say that chit to my face. I will break you in half and you know you have it coming.

    Some of my friends, give me a wakeup call every morning. Just to see if I made it thru the night and that I'm ok. I love you Michael.
    But he also calls because he knows what I'm capable of when some coward attacks me on here. Namely Belluchi. Yes John. You have put yourself in a very bad position. But I guess your too stupid to realize it. You see, I'm getting older and have already lived past what doctors thought that I would. But I feel pretty damn good, all things considered. Another thing is; I'm not scared. I've already lived thru prison, a major heart attack and 5 bypasses. The death of a child. The loss of loves. My pride, my honor, my dignity. My career, my assets, and my future. You see.......I have nothing much left to loose. I've already lost it all. Some are proud of me for what I've regained in 10 years, but it's really nothing when you compare it to my loses. I'm not void of feelings. I have those. I am however void of hope. There isn't much of that left. That has the potential to make me a dangerous person if I don't keep that contained. See, my friends know this about me and they care and that's why they check to see where I am mentally. Friends do keep friends in check, and out of trouble. And when you know your friends care about you, you listen to them. Their there because they love you. John, I'm sorry you have no friends. Maybe, just maybe it's YOU. You are a bitter old man, but I do understand why. I guess I would be bitter too if I was you. Thank GOD, I'm not.

    Now about the NTA. Why not put myself on the front lines? Like I said, I have nothing to loose, whereas, many of you others do. The way I see it, many have come before me to lay the pathway for all of us as taxidermists. They've grown tired and weary trying to right these wrongs and probably have found themselves evaluating the cost to themselves, and their families. Perhaps a cost too great to chance. I'm not in that position. I have but one thing left in this world and that is the time I'm granted here by our good Lord above. Am I ready to go? No, but I'm not afraid to go either. I've already been to hell. Be it heaven or somewhere else, it couldn't be any worse than what I've already lived thru. If the Crains want to sue someone, let them sue me. It's hard to get blood out of a turnip. So, hopefully I've explained everything to where you can understand me, and let's ride. And once again, thanks for being my friend. Now lets get on with the job at hand, which is taking back the NTA.
  10. antlerman

    antlerman NTA Life Member #0118

    Gunny, I will answer your question. Imagine the shame, the hurt, the defeat, the lose, the desire to die and escape. Imagine being at the lowest place you could ever find yourself. A place where you don't care anymore what happens to you. I had just found out that my wife was cheating on me. Crazy as that all sounds, I loved her and thought she loved me. She had just ripped my heart out and followed it up by making these allegations simply to protect herself from being exposed for having an affair with her married boss. A woman whom I found down on her luck, whom I took to church and helped her with getting her life together. A woman who had voed her love for me. A woman who behind my back was stealing me blind, who was stealing her boss blind, who charged 7K worth of furniture to at the furniture store on my G'mothers name. A woman who walked out of the bank with my dad who had co-signed a 23K loan for her and walked away with it. I was ashamed. I had let this woman into my life and she systematically gutted us all. Yeah Gunny, I didn't care what they did to me. I was hurt, ashamed and ruined. I told the lawyer to do his best. He came back to me and said here's the deal. I didn't understand the system. I didn't know law and the court room procedures. I had a lot of shame and hurt when my sons believed what she was telling was the truth and they took her side, and momentarily turned their backs on me. I wanted to die. Do you understand that? I didn't care what the deal was. I didn't have any fight in me. I was done. I signed a plea agreement and away I went. Only after I got my feet back under me emotionally and mentally did I find some fight in myself. And fight I began to do. And when I fought back, I discovered that I was never defeated. I laid down and let them have their way with me, so to speak. While in therapy, I regained my self confidence, my desire to not be the victim. Fighting ones case while in therapy is a very bad taboo. You NEVER want a perpetrator to feel anything other than remorse, and for him to take full responsibility for his actions. The only problem with that was, I had nothing to be responsible for, and no reason to feel remorse. I hadn't done anything wrong. So my early years in therapy were rocky to say the least. Now, if you've had a hard time so far in digesting all this, you're really gonna struggle with this part.

    I had a good looking counselor named Sharon Kay. She worked under the head counselor named Karen. But I had no real contact with Karen at the time. Just Sharon Kay. Something happened and we were put on "lockdown". I was in a cell next to my buddy Lonnie. We were two men to a cell. Lonnie was an Outlaw biker and a BIG son of a biotch. He stood about 6'8" and weighed around 350lbs. I'm 5'8" and 200lbs. Lonnie's cell mate was guy named Dave. Dave was a gang chief with some Latino group. Dave had a lot of juice inside. He would order hits on guys and chit happened. Bad chit. Both of these guys were in for rape, and as crazy as it sounds, rapist and murders wear a badge on honor on the inside. And cop killers are the highest level of honor you can obtain. It's not a pretty world in there, I'm telling you. Anyway, were on lock down and Dave gets called out for a visit leaving Lonnie alone in the cell. Lonnie hollers at me and said", Dude when we come off lock down, you and I need to talk. I said, what about and said there is a hit out on you. I said what for, and he said I'll tell you later. Within the next couple of days we came off lock down and as I went to exit my cell Big Lonnie had me by the collar and said over here in the corner, we need to talk. He proceeded to tell me that he was leaving the camp because some bad chit was getting ready to go down and that I should do the same. Said that Dave was screwing Sharon Kay, our counselor and that the reason there was a hit on me was because I was the only one who, if I found out about it would set them out. That I had the balls to do it and was smart enough to eventually figure it out so therefore I was threat that had to be eliminated.

    For the sake of typing, I'll give as short of a version as I can.

    Lonnie did in fact bank out to another prison. Over the next few months Sharon Kay was hitting on me. She would come to wherever I was and flirt trying to lure me in. I was smart and never fell for her advances. I, and one other guy were the only ones who had night movement in the whole camp. Our jobs were to take care of the greenhouse and water the plants at night. My co-worker was Scott. Scott played in the camp band. So on nights that he wasn't out in the greenhouse with me, because he had band practice, Sharon Kay would come out to visit me. She was also one of the college instructors and taught some night classes there. Her advances were becoming more and more obvious and left you with an uncomfortable feeling. There was a black guy named Doug that she was terrified of. Later I found out that she and Doug had hooked up in the past and Doug was stalking her. So one night she came to the greenhouse and asked me to walk her to the gate because Doug was in the area. There was a line on the sidewalk that inmates are not allowed to cross near the front gate. The gunners in the towers will shot you if you cross that line. She was acting so scared and asked me to cross that line with her. "GET THE [expletive deleted] OUT OF HERE". Anyway, soon after it all came down. My other buddy Cliff busted Doug in the face and he was taken to segregation. A hit ordered by Sharon Kay. Then the warden came in on the deck and we were all ordered to lock up. The warden went to Sharon Kay's office cell and she was escorted off the property to never be seen again. They had planted a security camera in her office and had her and Dave on tape. Moments later the crush went to Dave's cell and bound him in chains and cuffs and transported him to a Maximum Facility. (I can look him up on the computer and see now that he is civilly committed for life.) We never saw him again either. Moments after that they opened our cell doors and let us back into the day room. At that moment Karen yelled out; THACKER...I want to see you in my office now!!!! WTF???

    She said to me, I know you know something and I want to know it NOW, she bellowed. Somewhat scared, I asked what? I know nothing. She went on to ask me what I knew about Sharon Kay and Dave? The truth was, I didn't KNOW anything, but I had heard rumors on the deck. I knew that Joe who was incharge of cleaning Sharon Kay's office had found her panties in a drawer. I knew that Sharon was said to have worn dresses with no panties and would sit and flash guys while in group sessions. I knew that Cliff busted Doug in the face for Sharon Kay, I told of her coming out to the greenhouse and flirting with me. I knew of Doug and her's sexual encounter. I had heard a rumor about Dave and Sharon Kay, and I told her about what Lonnie has said and why he left. That was all I knew. And I told her everything I did know.

    Then the next part is what changed everything for me. Karen looked me in the eye and asked me if she and I could start over? I said; what do you mean? She said: when given reports about an inmate offender and listening to an inmate offender, who would you trust to be telling you the truth? I said the counselor, knowing full well that everyone comes in with total denial. As has been said, we're all innocent. Karen said; I have misjudged you. She asked: are you telling me the truth about your conviction and crime? I said; yes ma'am I am. She got a tear in her eye and said: will you except my apology? I said, yes ma'am. She said; you know I can't do these two things legally but I wish I could give you a hug because we have been awfully rough on you, thinking you were in total denial. But here's what I can do, and she showed me my therapy jacket. Sharon Kay was setting me up to be civilly committed for life. Karen told me that had I acted on Sharon Kay's advances she would have charged me with Rape on a staff member. I was being set up for the fall. And with that; Karen granted me permission to appeal my conviction. I'm the only person that I know of that that request was ever granted. Many tried for time cuts and she would hear nothing of it. Noway no how. You are to take full responsibility for your actions no matter how unfair you think you were treated. Your victims will live with what you did to them for the rest of their lives, and you want to cry, por you?

    So you see, I know the system, I know what therapy is suppose to do. I know all about taking responsibility for ones actions. I know about feeling remorse and having victim empathy. I know all of that very very very well. I can present an offending cycle in my sleep. I know triggers and high risk situations. I know all of that. But I also know, that I can't be responsible for something I didn't do regardless of what the court papers say, or how it all went down, or why I didn't fight. I had no fight left in me. I hope you can understand that.

    So with Karen's permission, I started my appeal and the rest is history. I know that to this day, Karen is still thinking about me and knows deep down in her heart that I am safe and victim free and anyone in my presents is as safe as if they were in their mother's belly. I owe my life to Karen. And because she rebuilt me, I am strong and better than I was before. Karen spent the next two years as my counselor. And she watched me walk out of that gate and was happy that she was able to play a part in setting me free. Now, I'm gonna cry for awhile, so you guys carry on. But, I hope I have satisfactorily answered your question Gunny.
  11. antlerman

    antlerman NTA Life Member #0118

    Ok, while I was typing the above I received many pm's and for those I thank you all.

    But here's one I will share, just because I feel it's the right thing to do, from John Belluchi..


    This may be late in coming, but in light of the papers you have presented here - which I wish you had either posted earlier along or would have sent to me in PM, etc. - I stand corrected, amend my statements, and apologize for my accusations. crap happens, mistake can be made, and bad things can happen to good people. Take this apology or not ... it has been made, and I do mean it. I'm not doing this for anyone 'out there', but because you have earned it. Take care of yourself and your loved ones.
  12. Gunny

    Gunny Old Timer

    No not really.
    But that's OK don't worry about it, forget I asked.
    Good Luck
  13. antlerman

    antlerman NTA Life Member #0118

    I know it's hard to take anyone's word over something like this. And John, you probably are no different than I would be about this. Thus, my willingness to answer questions when presented properly. I really don't have anything to hide. never have. My mother would tell you, that I was always the one son of hers that no matter what I had done or what my consequences would be, I was the one who would stand up, look her in the eye and say; Yes I did that.

    I remember a time when I was pissed about something and I busted out the window on my dad's truck. He looked at me in disbelief and asked why I did that, to which I walked around the truck and bust ed out the other window and said, I don't know...why did I do that?
    Of course I had to pay for two new windows, but I didn't/couldn't say I didn't do it on purpose, because I did. I could tell you lots of things I've done, but one thing I'm not is a liar, and if I'm gonna break your neck, I will tell you before I do it.

    Ok John. I have received your apology. I thank you for that, but I do need some time to digest that. I think you've got some broken glass to pay for.
  14. Awesome Tim,
    That will answer all the questions, Now lets get the NTA back to its members, Thanks Tim.

    Gregg R. Ielfield
  15. antlerman

    antlerman NTA Life Member #0118

    Gunny, I guess I don't know what your asking me then. I took a plea bargain. 11 years sounded better than 20. I was scared hurt, and defeated. Most of the things I found out after I was sentenced, not before. I guess you've never been in that position. To that I say Thank God you haven't. It can destroy your life. The world can be a mean place. Prison is much meaner. Other than what I have already posted, I don't know what to tell you other than I am a child of God's and I believe God carried me through the storm. I believe God saved me from some mean evil people who's intent was to harm me. I believe God rectified the wrongs, and gave me another chance at life. I believe I'm here for a purpose and I will carry on until that purpose has been fulfilled. The 4 documents I presented is all I have. There is nothing more. The story I told you is factual. I had hoped that would fill in some gaps for you. I have nothing else to offer unless you have a specific question that I am missing.
  16. RTF

    RTF Active Member

    Tim you ever thought about writing a whole book on your life's story? I know I'd be in line to buy a copy.
  17. BDrake

    BDrake Active Member

    Where did you read that on the papers thet were shown?
    Pardon my stupidity George, but I just ca`nt find it.
  18. George

    George The older I get, the better I was.

    It's tough to "pardon" stupidity but when you can't read there's nothing I can do.
  19. antlerman

    antlerman NTA Life Member #0118


    Maybe this will help you. There was never any evidence presented. None NADA. Just a piece of paper that I was told to sign and away I went in cuffs. I was never presented with anything about the allegations, a discovery or a chance to face my accusers. They was tearing down the court house that Day and rushed me thru. There is this thing called a speedy trial which means they have to do something with you within 90 days unless you sign a waiver. I was held 79 days in the county jail, then rushed off to prison. That is not due process. To this day no evidence has been presented to me. Why? Because they have none. They didn't have then and they don't have now. It never existed. There was none to be had. Could they have gotten into trouble for what they did? Hell YES. All they had was my ex wife's statement. Period. That's it. When I was first arraigned they asked me how I pleaded and I said "Not Guilty". Everything else with due process was omitted, overlooked, whatever. The whole deal boiled down to them breaking me down into signing a plea agreement. Which I did on day 79 after sitting in a cold dreary basement jail cell the whole time. Time had ran out on THEM. Not me, so they whisked me thru thinking that they had covered all the bases, but they hadn't. And it wasn't until Karen gave me permission to appeal that they realized their mistakes and cut a deal to let me go. They were facing an internal investigation by the AG if they had done anything other than appease me and pray like hell that I didn't go back on my word of not reporting it. What is so hard for you to understand? I feel like I'm on trial here.
  20. antlerman

    antlerman NTA Life Member #0118

    It was suggested by my counselors. But really, I just want to move on with my life and try to put the past behind me. It's been 15 years and I've been fine until these last few days. Things are pretty raw right now as though it all happened yesterday.

    Thanks to the many friends who have pm'd and e-mailed, and called me. I'm ok. John has apologized and we move on from here. Nothing more to say really. I'll be ok and I won't do anything stupid. John, Thanks for the apology. We'll just let it go and trust it is all behind us now.
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