Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, sit down while I tell you a parable that you can take with you through life. It's the terrible tale about how, in our quest for immortality, we often find ourselves enrolled in Monkey College. Now I know you're dying to know what that is, so settle down and listen. As we go through life, each and every one of us encounters a problem or two. Some are easily fixed while others swelter and create anxiety that aggravates us and distracts us from the things in life we should be enjoying. Those things become monkeys. Sometimes you just cant shake the little boogers . But your problems are about to get worse Remember when I said EVERYONE has problems? Well, one of those people is just about to walk through your door. He has only one mission: he's trying to get the monkey off of his back as well and he's figured that if he can come to you with a sad enough story, you'll take HIS monkey as well You're about to enroll in Monkey College. Soon, you'll find that most of your customers are trying to dump their monkeys on your back. It's not bad enough that you have your own to contend with, now you're building a herd of them from others. Oh, you've heard the stories. I just saw one a few minutes ago where a client had brought this "unique" cape in that had a couple dozen spots on it that ticks had shaved the hair. How many of you get those "pretty good roadkills" with the smashed heads, or the whitetails that were shot in the eye or had their throat cut, or the bear that was drug behind the 4 wheeler, or the kids first duck that had been shot at 10 yards with double aught buckshot. I love the ones where a guy shoots his first turkey, wants a full strut, but wants you to butcher it for him and give him the meat. Maybe it comes with experience. Maybe it comes with age where you've already heard all the stories and are unimpressed. Maybe you just don't give a damn. Either way, as some point you need to realize that you have your own monkey to deal with and you aren't interested in carrying someone elses. Stop feeling guilty about it. He's the same guy who'll claim, "Well, a GOOD taxidermist wouldn't have any problem with that." Hand him the phone book and tell him to take his monkey to one he finds in there. The secret to success in Monkey College is to drop out. You'll never graduate as there will always be someone out there trying to give you their monkey. Do yourself an even bigger favor: DON'T EVEN ENROLL.