You might be a rocket scientist if............

...you can learn basic chemistry first.

Had a guy in the shop today and I was checking the pH on my tan. He noticed that I was about out of pH strips. I told him that I needed to order some as I'd given my spare container to a friend so she could check out her hot tub water.

He said, "Well that won't do her any good. She'll still have to check the other two?"

I gave him one of those, "Are you a complete dumbass or just in the embryotic stages" looks to which he replied, "There are 3 checks you have to make. You have to check the pH and then you have to test the alkalinity and then the acidity of the water."

By this time I'm almost on the floor laughing. He says, "Well when I check the pH with the strips the pool place sells me, it needs to be yellow. If it's not, I have to check it for acidity and if it's red, I have to add some "Acid Fix". If that doesn't register, I have to use the alkalinity strips and if they're green, I have to add some "Alkali Fix".

Suddenly it's not funny anymore. Now here's an industry that depends on stupid customers. They can sell him 3 separate test strips for what one good one could do by itself, and then tell him to use a certain product they sell exclusively to "fix" his problems. You can damned well bet the pool guy never was a taxidermist.